IVF Pregnancy - 38 Week Update

So much has happened since my last post, but I honestly don't know where the time is going!  I thought I better get more frequent with my updates now in case we have an early arrival! 

We saw the consultant on 14 March (36w)  and whilst I had anticipated issues in that I may have needed an iron transfusion if my levels had not risen, that turned out to be fine and we instead encountered completely different issues. 

We had our growth scan before seeing the consultant as normal, the growth rate of the baby's tummy had dropped but the lady who scanned us wasn't concerned as her tummy had previously measured 97 percentile and, even with the drop, was well above normal.  When we got to the consultant appt it was a different story, suddenly our consultant and two midwives were discussing our action plan like we weren't even in the room and throwing around words such as induction - hence we both went very pale.  The consultant wasn't happy with the drop so wanted to rescan us and book us in for monitoring twice in the following week before making a decision on induction.  When we were rescanned the growth was better (a matter of mm can make a massive difference in these things) but she wanted us to still be monitored.  After discussing it with the midwife I decided to also stop work that day, even though I wasn't meant to go on maternity leave for another week and a half, because it wasn't worth the risk and we needed to focus on the baby.  This was on the Friday.

Fast forward to the Monday (36w3d) we attended for our first "monitoring", which then turned out to be just another scan. The same consultant from Friday scanned us again and decided there was probably operator differences causing the issue on the Friday (even though she had rescanned me herself) and that she was no longer too concerned. She wanted to book to see us at 38w (just under 2w time) and didn't want monitoring.  The senior midwife reminded her we were IVF/ICSI and the risk wasn't worth it, so she requested we book for monitoring the next Monday (37w3d) and a consultant appt for due date (40w) instead.  I was quite upset because she had completely panicked us on the Friday and now appeared quite complacent about any issues, the midwife was lovely and reassuring and told us they can only work with the data from that exact point - so we shouldn't worry if it was looking better than the Friday. 

We attended for our second "monitoring" the following Monday (37w3d) and actually sat with the strap on monitor on for half hour, which showed Emby's movements and heart rate as good.  We then had another scan with the consultant, the growth was still looking ok but she now decided she wanted to see us earlier than 40 weeks because she was likely going to want to induce us without going too far overdue - something she would struggle to get booked in if we didn't see her until due date.  She therefore booked us for more monitoring the following Monday (38w3d) and moved our consultant appt from 40w to 39w (so she could book induction for around due date if required). 

So tomorrow we go again for monitoring and hope the story doesn't change again - you may be confused keeping up with the above, but that is nothing compared to the confusion and fear you go through encountering it.  After everything we have been through this last part is very scary as we are so close now. 

If the monitoring goes well tomorrow we should see the consultant on Friday and hopefully be given an induction date (in case she doesn't arrive naturally in the meantime) - pending the consultant doesn't change her mind again, in which case I will likely kick her arse! 

I would prefer to go into labour when she is good and ready, plus I heard labour can be longer and harder from induction.  But the most important thing is that Emby is growing and safe, I just don't want any risks taken and if it is safer for her to be out, then I want her out.  

I have been relaxing the last week or so and I feel like she is very low down the last couple of days, so hopefully she is working towards her own action plan.  I am using a birth ball but other than that I have avoided any old wives tales or labour inducers because I don't want to interfere with her progress. 

It is Mothers Day today, the first one ever I am actively celebrating.  Although she isn't here yet I feel like a mother already and, after crying for this day the last three years, it feels amazing to celebrate my little miracle.  Rick did very well in his father to be duties and gave me a beautiful card from "bump" and some lovely Yankee candle stuff - he is totally a keeper! 

I feel really blessed and can't believe that in less than 2 weeks our beautiful girl will be in our arms!  Dreams really do come true! 

I am very aware how hard today will be for my TTC sisters still waiting for their BFP, and those who gained angel babies this year.  My love and support is with you always xxx 

IVF Pregnancy - 35 Week Update

Hey everyone, I decided I am going to stop beating myself up about not posting every week.  Time is absolutely flying by and I am running to keep up.

I am now 35w3d pregnant and our miracle girl is due one month tomorrow!  I can't wait! 

Since my last update a month ago, we have been busy bees! 

I had my consultant visit on valentines day, at which point I was 32 weeks pregnant.  Everything was ok, although Emby was still measuring a week ahead and apparently has a chubby belly as her tummy measurements were the top end of normal (especially compared to the other measurements).  

They still have concerns about my iron levels, which have risen from 8.5 to 9.4 in the month since my iron dose was increased, but this is still below the 10.5 minimum it should be.   I had another blood test last week and we will review the figures at my next consultant appointment on Friday to see if an iron infusion is needed.

I also need to discuss my birth plan as my midwife thought it was unlikely I would be allowed to go to the birth centre if my iron stays low (what with also being consultant led).  I am not too concerned about going to the delivery suite, I just want her here safely, but it would be reassuring to know in advance where I will need to go. 

My bump is still expanding.... Seriously! How is she even fitting in there? Lol.  I have also started to earn my stripes, but she is worth every one. 

My sister threw me the most amazing baby shower last month.  It was so perfect to see all my friends and family and a little overwhelming.  We played lots of games and quizzes and Emby was completely spoilt.  I am so lucky to have such an amazing support system around me. 

I have started washing all the baby clothes and packed my hospital bag, so everything is feeling very real right now.  I so can't wait to meet her, but I will really miss being pregnant!  Especially as this is likely my only chance to experience it, so it makes me a little sad that it is going so fast. 

I will post again after our consultant appointment. 

Love to everyone xxxx 

IVF Pregnancy - 31 Week Update

I have been a naughty blogger recently and not given you a pregnancy update since just after Xmas - but seriously, where has the time gone?! 

I am now 31 weeks pregnant and can't believe I only have 9 more weeks until my due date!  

Everything is going well, other than a little issue with anaemia (which is being resolved with a triple dose of iron each day) I am feeling pretty good.  My bump is extremely tight because she is getting so much bigger but luckily no stretch marks yet.... *touches wood* - I am not sure whether the twice daily splurge of bio oil is helping or whether I will just wake up one day with loads of them - but I don't really mind if they do appear because I am earning my stripes :) 

I am having a lot of braxton hicks, which are not painful but sometimes appear at the most awkward moments - like when you are rushing for the bus!  But they are reassuring that my body is getting itself ready and we are that much closer to meeting our miracle girl. 

We are still consultant led and everything was looking good at our scan and appointment at 28w. We are due to go in again next Friday (32w) for another check.  She is measuring slightly big but they don't seem too concerned about that. 

The nursery is pretty much finished other than a few sewing projects and as soon as we get a nice sunny day (wishful thinking?) I will take some photos and post a nursery tour. 

We found a beautiful dress from Next to use for her "coming home" outfit.  I haven't collected it from the shop yet so the photo below is just from their website. I have a cute cream cardigan and bunny tights to go with it - she is going to look so beautiful!  Well she would anyway, even without the dress, but this is something we can keep in her memory box after she outgrows it. 

I know we have all the essentials, at least for the first few weeks, but I can't help but get a little overwhelmed when I go down the baby aisles in the supermarket. After waiting so many years for this moment, everything seems to be running at super speed and I panic I won't be ready.  Normal momma to be nerves I am sure. 

I have sorted out my maternity leave with work and finish on Tuesday 25 March - six weeks on Tuesday!  Hopefully I will make it that far and get to spend some time chilling before she arrives.  I will be 37w4d when I leave work so hopefully I have left enough of a buffer before my due date, but I will technically be at full term so we shall see! 

It is getting harder to go to work, by the end of the week I am exhausted.  But I really want to spend more time off with her after she is born and don't want to waste my time off waiting, so I am determined to stick it out until 25 March unless I am medically advised otherwise. 

Rick is so excited to meet her, he talks and sings to her everyday so I hope she will recognise his voice when she is here.  

I will try to post more often, time is going so fast I often forget. 

A few of my TTC sisters have had BFP recently, sending love and wishing them all healthy and happy pregnancies. 

A few have not been so lucky so, as always, sending support, hugs baby dust and love to you all xxxxx 

Happy 2nd Blog Birthday!

Today is two years since I started this blog to document my journey through infertility.

So two years on and over 10,000 page views later I am still going strong! 

I am so overwhelmed by the response my blog has received, the number of friends I have met through it and social networking, and the unforgettable support I receive on a daily basis. 

I have also had the opportunity to help so many others struggling with more private journeys. 

Thank you to everyone who has ever taken the time to read, comment or pass on my blog details.

Love and baby dust to you all! 

Xxxx

P.S.  I have my consultant scan and appointment on Friday so will return with a pregnancy update after that xx 

IVF Pregnancy - Weeks 23-25 Xmas & New Year!

I am currently enjoying my last couple of days off work before returning on 2nd January.  I really am struggling to get the motivation to return, if I am like this after 9 days off.... what on earth will I be like returning after maternity leave?!  

I have been an extremely busy little bee while off, I have been careful not to overdo things but have tried to do a little bit of nursery stuff every day.  I have painted my bargain preloved eBay chest of drawers white to match the cot and have made lots of progress in painting my tree and animals on the walls. 

There is still lots to do but I am loving every second of getting everything ready for our beautiful daughter. 

I am having lots of movement the last couple of weeks and some issues with heartburn - although I wouldn't change a thing because she is worth all this and more.  She does have a habit of going really high up so she feels like she is in my ribs (either that or she has pushed all my other organs up) - little minx lol 

I saw the midwife today and everything is going well.  I have my consultant scan and appointment on the 17th so hopefully we will be able to see our girl and find out how she is doing in there. 

We had a lovely Xmas at my sister's house, it was really nice to be a part of my niece's first Xmas.  I was surprised, but delighted, that Santa hadn't forgotten Emby - she was spoiled with lots of presents from my family. 

We are having a quiet New Years Eve this year, just planning to snuggle up with hubby and bump in front of the TV. 

2013 has been a rollercoaster ride, but worth every second!  I spent the last three New Years Eves desperately hoping the next year would bring my dream - 2014 is going to be the best year of my life! 

I haven't got any New Year resolutions, other than to try every day to be the most amazing mother to my daughter. To never let myself forget for one moment what a blessing Emby is and how lucky I am.

Wishing everyone an amazing New Year! 

As always, sending love to my TTC sisters.  Always have hope, just because you may be starting the year in a low place doesn't mean you won't finish it on a high.  I hope 2014 will be your year! Xxxx 

IVF Pregnancy Weeks 18 to 22

I am so sorry for the long delay in updating, I have been crazy busy with our house move and getting organised for Xmas.

I am now 22w3d pregnant and loving every second of it.  My only complaint is that it is going way too fast!  Of course I am really excited to meet my daughter, but at the same time, I don't want this pregnancy to go so fast.  I am conscious that this might be the only chance for me to experience this, I don't want it to end.

So what have I been up to? 

I moved house the day of my last blog post and have been busy unpacking and decorating.  It's amazing how much junk we accumulated over 5 years in the flat!  I am loving being in a house, it's so cosy and whilst we haven't gained a lot more floor space, we have a better layout and more usable rooms. 

I started decorating Emby's nursery.  I have chosen an animal theme as per the picture below. The bedding and accessories are from Next but I have painted the walls a very pale mint green.  I am then going to paint the various animals and and big swirly tree on the walls to customise it a bit.  I am trying to do a bit each weekend so I don't over exert myself.  I know it's early to get the room ready, but I wanted to get it sorted out before I am too big to function.  I also want to have the expenditure while I am still working so I am not cutting into my maternity leave money. 

I had my 20w anomaly scan, everything is perfect and she is still apparently a girl! Although she is measuring a week bigger!  Hopefully just a growth spurt.... I hope she isn't a record breaker like that baby in China that weighed well over 13lb recently!  Ouch! 

I am feeling so much movement now!  To start with it was mainly just kicks when I was l laying down at night (or just had lunch) but now she squirms about on and off during the day.  Some days she doesn't move as much but apparently that is normal - babies have lazy days just like us! 

Rick has been able to catch her kicking a few times, but she is sneaky and usually stops once she realises she has an audience.  I think she will be a little minx, she loves to sit on my bladder and make me dash to the loo, only to move as soon as I sit down and then not need to go anymore.  I love her so much it's insane! 

My bump has suddenly grown much bigger, I really look pregnant now.  I hadn't initially gained any weight because I lost some from morning sickness, but now my body is catching up and I had gained about 6lb by week 21.  I am keeping an eye on it because I don't want to gain too much from over eating, a healthy gain is around 1lb a week at this point so I am trying to stay relatively healthy, but at the same time I do give in when my body fancies something because I rarely have any cravings. 

I am looking forward to Xmas, we are going to my sister's this year and I am really looking forward to it, especially as it will be my niece Sophie's first one xx

Some of my TTC sisters are having a tough time at the moment.  I know what you are going through and I am here for you all.  I hope my updates are not too hard for you to see, and that you can find  hope from them.  It won't always be this way, but while it is, you are not alone xxxx baby dust to all xxxx 

IVF Pregnancy - Weeks 14-17

So it's just after 6am and I am wide awake, in a couple of hours we move into our new house and I am too excited (or stressed!) to sleep.  So I though I would reflect on the last few weeks of my pregnancy and post you a long overdue update. 

We are moving into a lovely little 3 bedroom house (well 2, if you don't count the tiny box room that will be the dressing room haha), but the most amazing part is I will get to decorate Emby's nursery! 

I am so excited but can't commit to a theme, I was originally looking at a Dr Seuss theme before I knew she was a girl but now I am undecided.  If I go "girly" I will do something Cath Kidston inspired, but then I worry it will be too grown up and not "fun" enough.... Watch this space! 

This morning I turn 18 weeks pregnant and honestly can't believe how fast it is going!  It is a little scary to think I will be halfway there in just 2 weeks time! 

The sickness has almost completely gone since about 14/15 weeks, I only have odd moments if I smell something strong/bad that makes me feel ill.  I have more energy and not so tired, which is great.  I honestly love every second! 

I had appointments with my consultant and midwife at week 16 - I will be consultant led due to IVF/ICSI so they can keep an eye on the growth of the baby.  I won't have to see anyone again until after Xmas now.  Other than my 20 week scan at the end of the month. 

We have been listening to Emby's heartbeat a lot recently as we have a doppler, it's so reassuring when I have a "worried" day that I can check she is ok. We have also heard her "professionally" at our last two appointments.

As you know we had a private scan to find out Emby was a girl at 16 weeks.  Although it could still change because the scan was early, the lady sounded pretty confident, we shall see if it is confirmed at our 20 week scan before making any big purchases.  We did buy her a couple of tops and a super cute pair of pink converse though!  If it turned out to be a boy at our next scan we would still be over the moon because, with everything we went through to get to this point, we just want a happy and healthy baby to call our own - yes, I am aware this paragraph should have come with a super cliche alert! Haha

Although we haven't made any large gender specific purchases, we did put a deposit down on our travel system.  We went for the Mothercare Xpedior travel system, which at £250 was a bargain!  It is also ideal for us because the buggy seat converts into a pram/carrycot style part rather than having to store two separate attachments (as our house is fairly small).  They also have an interest free plan which allows us to just go in and make little random payments off the cost between now and delivery in March - which is great because we don't have to fork out in one go now for something that won't be used until April.  We went for the apple green colour pack because it was the only colour we both agreed on and would be ok for either gender. 

I am starting to get a "proper" little bump and definitely now showing. To the point that people in shops have asked me how long I have to go - quite reassuring that they aren't now looking at me thinking I got a bit fat!  My bump is harder around the sides with just a tiny bit of my original "jelly belly" left in the middle.  I haven't taken a bump picture this week so will get Rick to take a good one and post it after we have moved. 

I am starting to feel lots of kicks, although still not really regular or strong enough to be felt from outside.  The flutters started about week 15 but the proper kicks only started last week.  They feel much more uncomfortable that I was expecting, not sure why I assumed it would be a lovely gentle contact between me and Emby - the fact it is called "kicking" probably should have warned me haha.  It is amazing to be able to feel her in there and have this special little bond that no one else can feel, like it's a secret between us :) xx

I also have realised I haven't posted about my new niece being born at the start of October! 

Sophie is the most beautiful little baby in the world and I am already totally in love with her!  I am so proud of my little sister for bringing her into the world xx 

It scares me a little that I love her so much already, and she isn't even mine, seriously how in love will I be when my own baby girl arrives?!!  There is already a joke within my family that I won't let anyone visit because I won't want to share the cuddles hehe xx

Rick has been so sweet recently, he kisses my bump and talks to Emby all the time.  He will be such an amazing daddy to our little girl, I just hope her mummy can compare xx

I think that brings us up to date, but will try to post more often once I get this house move done and dusted.

Finally, I want to send some love to some  special friends that haven't had such a positive outcome in their TTC journeys recently.  I am thinking of you all, I know you are facing what seem like impossible times but you are stronger than you know and you will make it though.  "If you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true" xxx

Love to you all xxx