Positive OPK Yay!

I am so, so sorry for being such a lame blogger recently! The failure of the last cycle hit me hard and to be honest I couldn't face talking about this cycle until now.

So where am I now?

Since my last post I contacted the fertility clinic who agreed I could have 21 day blood tests, but that I need to have them day 24/25 due to my longer cycles. Essentially this will track the hormones in my blood and will indicate if I ovulated, it needs to be done a week after "ovulation" (so a week before my period is due).

Unfortunately days 24 & 25 fall over a weekend so I would have to go for either day 23 or 26. Not yet sure which I will go for and will probably call the clinic again for advice.

I did ask for follicle tracking scans but was refused this. Although some areas offer this from the first round, this area doesn't due to the large number of patients using clomid. Apparently this may be an option on round 5 or 6, although by that point it won't make much difference.

If the blood test doesn't show ovulation has occurred it is likely the clomid dose will be doubled for round 4.

And the good news?

Tonight I got a positive OPK (ovulation predictor kit), although this doesn't guarantee ovulation the line was strong again like in round 1 (round 2 was barely a positive) so I am optimistic.

I have also suffered more symptoms this round, the hot flushes were hell and lasted for a week after I stopped the tablets - which makes me feel like it did something - fingers crossed!

I will keep you posted xxx

:0(

Sorry for not updating in a while life is just crazy busy at the moment.

I started spotting this morning so Clomid round 2 is another failure.

I think this is possibly the lowest I have felt in the last 2 years, I just want to cry at the moment.

I don't like the person I am becoming. I can feel my body subconsciously giving evil looks to pregnant women I pass in the street. I don't want to be bitter but it is really hard.

For months I have been clinging on to my positivity but in the last week I just haven't been able to do this.

Everyone keeps telling me that it will happen for me, whilst I truly appreciate the support, what if they are wrong? There are couples who it never happens for, what if that is us? Those couples probably had friends telling them they were born to be parents too.

I am sorry, this isn't meant to be a pity party, I am just a little bit sad at the moment.

I am going to call the clinic today to talk about options, because I really don't think this latest round did anything.

Talk later xx