It's not because I think 30 is old, hell these days even 60 isn't seen as old anymore!
It's because I am not where I wanted to be by 30. I have the good job, the lovely home, an amazing husband so I am lucky in so many ways. The thing I wanted most was to be a mummy before I was 30 and it's a really crappy feeling that, despite everything, I haven't been able to make that happen.
I wouldn't even let my hubby buy me a present. I want to save the money so if we ever get there I can have a private scan and professional bump photos.
I have to speak to the fertility clinic this week for an update. Before the bank holiday we were told the second test gave an improved result so the nurse suggested they may try clomid for six months instead of running straight to IVF, but this needs approval from the lead consultant (which is what we are waiting for). He may decide that because of my age, and due to the results only being improved but still below normal, that we should stick with IVF. I will keep you posted.
I wanted to just hibernate today, but I am going to be strong, put on my happy face and enjoy the day xxx
