The Consent Consultation...

We had our consent consultation with the satellite unit in Swindon last week (Swindon is in partnership with the Oxford Fertility Unit, which allows some of our treatment to be completed locally). 

So it is now all systems go!...

The appointment lasted around 90 mins and involved a baseline scan of my ovaries together with blood tests on us both. We then sat down with the nurse to go through all of the red tape/compliance forms.... all three billion of them!

Most of the forms covered generic information and consenting to the IVF procedures, including accepting the risks and understanding it is not guaranteed to work. But there were also lots of forms regarding our wishes for any embryos should one of us die, which was rather morbid, and whether we were happy to donate eggs/sperm/embryos that aren't suitable for IVF to be used for research. We both agreed we were happy with this, after all, without the research having been put into IVF in the past we wouldn't have had any chance of getting our dream. 

We got to see the nasal spray I will use twice a day for the first part of the process, which is called down regging.  We also got to see the needle I will use for the second stage stim injections, which to my relief, is in a pen format making it easier to inject.  I will get full training for that part once I go back to check I have down regged completely after the nasal spray. 

I now need to wait for my next cycle, I estimate by early June but who knows with my cycles, to call Oxford and book in. At this point I will be sent a schedule of when I need to take each drug and go for scans/blood tests etc. The drug company will also then send me everything I need for my first cycle.

They also confirmed we will be having ICSI instead of standard IVF.  This means they inject the sperm directly into the egg so it's more complex, but hopefully more successful.

It is still a daunting process, but I am excited that this could make our dream a reality.  I am also so lucky to have so much support, so thank you xx

I will update again once I have more information.

As always, baby dust to all and keep those fingers crossed! Xxx 

The IVF Open Evening

As you know, we attended an open evening this week at the Oxford Fertility Unit to start the process of IVF.

It was an overwhelming experience, but a positive one.

I had already done my research on what to expect so the process wasn't a surprise, but the speed at which things will now move forward definitely was!

During the presentation we heard from an IVF nurse and embryologist, which "humanised" the whole process. Up to now I had mainly found info on various forums, so to hear it from the people that may give us our miracle was humbling.

They showed us lots of clips of the eggs and process, which was amazing. It is so clever how they can do this!

We have to go back to the OFU on Tuesday for a test on Rick, this will help them decide whether they will perform IVF or ICSI. ICSI is just a more technical version of IVF, so all my treatment would be the same, but they would inject the sperm into the egg (instead of just putting them both together in a Petri dish).

After this it is simply a waiting game for my next cycle to start. Once it has, I have to contact the fertility unit here in Swindon to make an appointment to "book" in my treatment and get the drugs etc. So very fast indeed!

I am very, very lucky that I am able to do so much of my treatment from here and only have to go to Oxford for the egg collection and transfer.

I am also very blessed that I live in an area that will fund three cycles for me. Some people at the open evening have no funding at all. It's really sad that they will have the added financial pressure to an already daunting situation.

I am hoping my cycle will start in the next couple of weeks, so I will update you more once I go to my planning consultation. (That is a novelty, actually wanting AF to arrive for once!)

In the meantime I have a billion consent forms we need to read through.

I really hope this works xxx

The IVF Referral Letter!!

After stating in my last post that things would likely be quiet on my blog until our referral came through, here we are barely two weeks later because.......

WE GOT OUR REFERRAL DATE! YAY!

To say I was shocked how by quickly it came through would be an understatement. I honestly didn't think I would hear anything until the beginning of the summer!

We have to attend an open evening in Oxford next Wednesday! 7 sleeps to go!

The open evening is a generic information presentation for 25 couples, where we find out all about the process we are about to undertake. IVF isn't for everyone and some couples don't proceed once they know what it involves. To be honest, I am already so well read on the whole thing that I know, without a doubt, I will try it.

At this point I would try anything.

I will find out more on timescales next week but, from what I have read online, you generally see a consultant within a few weeks of the open evening to plan the treatment, which then starts during the next new cycle - eek!

If that is the case, we might start before the summer!

At the moment my head in wrapped up in the clinical facts of IVF. I don't feel like the emotional side of it has hit me yet, it probably won't until I am actually going through with it.

I will, of course, post again after the open evening to let you know how we got on.

I would like to say a ma-hoooo-sive thank you to all of my friends who have sent lovely messages and support me every day. Your positivity lifts me up every time I fall and I couldn't do it without you xxxxx

IVF Referral

Sorry it has taken a while to post this update. In all honesty it has taken me a while to get my head around.

As some of you are aware, this week saw the unsuccessful end of my final Clomid round.

It wasn't a surprise, I knew hadn't ovulated, but I think it took a couple of days for the ramifications to sink in.

So what does this mean for us now?

I have spoken with the fertility clinic who are now processing my IVF referral letter to Oxford. Apparently, it will take a week for the letter to go through typing (modern age eh?), and then I will have to wait for Oxford to respond with a date - no idea how long that will take. Although, apparently treatment starts quite quickly once you get the consultation. Fingers crossed.

I know I need to stay positive, but my brave face feels like it is falling off and I am struggling to stick it back on.

Thank you for all the kind messages and support you have all given.

I will keep you posted with news, once I have any, but will likely be a little quiet on the TTC front until our referral as I think we need a little time out from trying.

As always, love and baby dust to all my TTC friends xxx

My Third Infertile Mother's Day

Mother's Day is one of the hardest days in the year for someone suffering with infertility. Everywhere you look are adverts, promotions, flowers and giant teddies all declaring variations of "world's best mum".

It's really hard to face and almost impossible not to feel a tad bitter about.

As much as you want to spend the day celebrating and thanking your own mum, there is a big void in that you know you haven't achieved that title yourself.

I almost experienced my first Mother's Day card shop rage the other day. I was trying to find a non cheesy card that summed up the amazing support my mum has given me, when, what can only be described as a "skanky" mother (getting a good visual image from that?) started screaming at her brood of kids. They didn't seem to be doing anything significantly wrong, just usual bored kids dragged out on a shopping trip so their "skanky" mother can fill her bags with primark leggings and 20 lambert & butler. (Disclaimer - primark leggings are extraordinary good value). Anyway, back to the screaming... I seriously could have resorted to violence with this woman. Does she not know how lucky she is? And then it hit me, she doesn't.

I am a firm believer in you appreciate the things you had to fight harder to achieve. So I walked away strong in the knowledge that my baby, when I get one, will be so fortunate that it's mummy can appreciate and love him/her on a level that this "skanky" mother could never hope to reach.

My mum is amazing, she can support me like no other, because she understands. I am so lucky to have her and would be lost without her xxx happy Mother's Day mummy xx

Biggest hugs to all my long term TTC friends, you are all so strong and tomorrow is another day xxx


P.S A quick update.... I didn't achieve a positive OPK for this last Clomid round, but I did get some tests last weekend that peaked at medium darkness then faded away over the next couple of days. I am going to work on the basis that AF may be due next weekend, but who knows. Will keep you posted.


Baby dust to all xxxx

Clomid Failure & Vlog #2

Shall we get the bad news out of the way first?

Clomid round 5 failed :-(

It wasn't unexpected, I don't feel like anything happened this cycle, but still disappointing.

Trying very hard to keep the positivity going for this final round, so please keep your fingers crossed and send baby dust my way.

In other news, I have completed my second vlog post :-) I had a good response from my last post and gained a few subscribers, so that is fab!

I will add some standard blog posts for those that aren't interested in the video blog posts. I am aiming to have a mixture of the both going forward.

I start the tablets for my final Clomid round tonight..... roll on the hot flushes!

As usual, baby dust to all xxx

A Brave New World........ Vlogging!

Today I have been very, very brave and recorded my very first vlog!

For those unfamiliar with the jargon, a vlog is a video blog. Essentially a video diary where I talk to my camera instead of typing about my feelings - think big brother diary room.... but without the nice big chair!

I have posted a link to my first vlog below, you will have to forgive me for it being a little rough around the ages, it is surprising how hard it is to appear natural in front of a camera. This was the result following many attempts!

Hopefully it will appear smoother and more confident once I am more experienced at it - although I think it will always be a little strange to be talking to myself!

There is a wide community of infertility vloggers on youtube, I suscribe to many of them so this first vlog was just to introduce myself.  Therefore the content won't be new to most of you, but please subscribe to my channel because I will post more detailed vlogs over the next few months.

There isn't much to update on the TTC front at the moment. Despite the expensive OPK tests, I did not get a positive result so have no idea if I ovulated or not, hence I am not sure when this cycle should end.

I suspect it will some point this week, I am not holding out much hope for a BFP as I am cramping and feel like AF is on the horizon.

I will keep you posted!

As always, baby dust to all xxx