HSG......

After some issues with my last cycle, today I finally had my HSG examination. This is where a dye is injected through your cervix then your womb and fallopian tubes have an xray to check for problems.

This test sounds simple enough, right?

The leaflet I received told me to take painkillers before my appointment as the test can be "uncomfortable" and I can expect some cramping afterwards.

The leaflet was clearly written by someone under the influence of an epidural because it hurt like hell! Either that or it was written by man who did not possess a cervix and who's only experience of pain was a papercut!

I almost passed out and felt like I was going to throw up!

I had been told that everyone has different experiences with this test. It's not just about pain threshold, if you have ever been pregnant or had a coil fitted you would like feel less pain. (either that or I am simply a wuss!)

I don't want to freak out anyone who is waiting to have this test, because you honestly may have a completely different experience. Equally, I do not want to say "HSG? Just a tickle" because then when you have the test you will think I am a big fat liar! Lol

In fairness, while it was painful it was very, very quick and the cramping afterwards was no worse than period pain (and subsided after an hour or so).

The results....

They had encountered some "resistance" to the dye suggesting there was partial blockage. But the dye did eventually push through and the good news is my tubes are no longer blocked. The doctor advised some people can fall pregnant after having the test as the dye clears the tubes - fingers crossed! I am very lucky there wasn't any scar tissue or anything to cause a bigger blockage :-)

Now another waiting game.... We are getting good at this! I have to wait 2 weeks for the results to be "signed off" and put on the system for the fertility dept to review (why the depts can't just talk to each other is beyond me!).

Once they have done this we should hopefully get the green light for clomid! Yay!

I know I am constantly promising to be a better blogger, but the recent waiting game hasn't left much to tell you all. Now things are moving on I will try to update more often!

Xxxx

Must Do Better!

I haven't blogged since turning 30! Yes, it was that bad!..... Just kidding :-D

I have been really manic at work recently and my lifestyle has reflected that. Too many takeaways and crappy emotional eating lead to a 5.5lb gain at weigh in tonight! I hadn't been since 15th May so it could, in all honesty, have been worse!

I am back on the wagon starting tomorrow! I want to get back to my wedding weight by our 2nd anniversary on 17th September. 10lb to go!

On the fertility front, I have booked my HSG xray for 26th July. I will post again about this nearer the time, but essentially it is where they inject a dye into your cervix and then xray you to see whether your tubes are ok etc. Once I get the ok from this test I will be allowed the Clomid! Fingers crossed!

I promise to be a better blogger in future!

Xx

Life At 30

Well it happened, I turned 30 today. A milestone I have been dreading for weeks!

It's not because I think 30 is old, hell these days even 60 isn't seen as old anymore!

It's because I am not where I wanted to be by 30. I have the good job, the lovely home, an amazing husband so I am lucky in so many ways. The thing I wanted most was to be a mummy before I was 30 and it's a really crappy feeling that, despite everything, I haven't been able to make that happen.

I wouldn't even let my hubby buy me a present. I want to save the money so if we ever get there I can have a private scan and professional bump photos.

I have to speak to the fertility clinic this week for an update. Before the bank holiday we were told the second test gave an improved result so the nurse suggested they may try clomid for six months instead of running straight to IVF, but this needs approval from the lead consultant (which is what we are waiting for). He may decide that because of my age, and due to the results only being improved but still below normal, that we should stick with IVF. I will keep you posted.

I wanted to just hibernate today, but I am going to be strong, put on my happy face and enjoy the day xxx

An Article To Relate To...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2102376/Baby-envy-The-new-social-divide.html

Hospital Again

I haven't been blogging very much recently, partly because I haven't had anything new to add, and partly because I have been crazy busy.

Today we have another test at the hospital to confirm the results we were given by the consultant. If the results are the same the fertility team will have a meeting about us to confirm our eligibility for funded IVF and we will then go onto a waiting list for treatment.

The last 21 months have been one long waiting game, which can be hard to deal with at times.

The results we were given at our last appointment pushed me off of my WW wagon and I have really struggled to get back on track for my fit before 30 challenge. I am going to look into joining the gym with my hubby because it will give us something to do together and the healthier we are before IVF the better our chances might be of it working.

I won't know more for a couple of weeks, but I will keep you posted once I know the outcome xxx

The Consultant Appointment

I apologise for the delay in posting an update, it has taken me until now to face writing one.

We met with our consultant last week to discuss our test results and next steps. Having spent most of the last year believing the issues were solely with me, I was shocked to be told there were issues with both of us and that we would be looking at assisted conception - IVF!

I don't even know how I held it together in that appointment but I promptly burst into tears the minute I left. It just wasn't at all what I had anticipated, I thought I would be leaving with a prescription for clomid.

To be able to refer us for IVF they need to retake the last test to double check the result. If it is the same we will then talk to the fertility nurse we saw in January for our case to be put forward for funding approval.

So we are a little in limbo right now, we don't know the current waiting list for IVF so have to wait to talk to the nurse to find out.

It wasn't the worst, we could have been told there was no hope, but it could have been better.

Will keep you posted! Xx

Nerves

The last couple of weeks have been manic with fundraising and then the office move, I haven't really had a chance to think about things. In some ways it has been a welcome distraction but this morning I woke up nervous about our consultant appointment next week.

I know we are finally getting somewhere and I am hopeful we might get some answers, or solutions, but part of me is dreading being told it won't ever happen for us.

I also worry that we will be sent for more invasive tests, and the waiting lists that those entail.

I know I need to stop thinking about it, what will be will be and all that jazz, it's just really hard.

I turn 30 next month, a milestone I didn't think would bother me. I don't feel 30 is old (nor 40 or 50 for that matter), but I do feel my biological clock is ticking so loudly my neighbours will soon be banging on the ceiling telling me to keep the noise down.

I thought I would have lots of babies by the time I turned 30, at this point I would be happy with just one.

6 sleeps to go..... eek!

Xxxxxx